The 6 Don'ts of an Opinionated Engagement Photographer

 

1. Don't show up sweaty. Cameras and sweat are a bad combo.  Lite makeup goes a long way
2. Don't show up in Khakis.  Good for work.  Bad for photos.  They create a phonomenom called - crotch eye.  My eye is drawn to your crotch because your pants are so bright.
3. Don't show up drunk - buzzed is fine - drunk is bad.  This goes without saying but I still had to say it.  If you need to loosen up take a xanax or I can take you to a old city philadelphia bar for 2 shots (not 12!).
4. Don't show up depressed.  What a confidence killer for your mate!  So don't listen to the Cure beforehand - as the Cure = Depression. 
5. Don't dress like a slob.  Jeans are great but make sure you look in the mirror before you leave the house.  If you have visible parasites or animals living in/on your body you may want to take a shower.  The only person that gets to be a slob is the photographer.
6. Don't show up thinking that the session won't be fun.  I carry a taser for these kind of people.  I shock them until they tell me they are having fun.

This list is 90% true and 10% sarcastic.  Whatever you were offended by was purely sarcasm.

In case you want to read tips I wrote for having a good engagement session (5,500+ people did so far) check out the slideshow below. An anonymous reviewer without the balls to list his/her name said "Yeah, these tips suck. They are said with confidence, but they’re just utter nonsense."

PS.  I will be posting some new tattooed couple's engagement photo sessions in the next week.  So check back shortly!  UPDATE: Here the tattooed engaged couple photos are.

Engagement Photography Hot Tips

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PPS. Feel free to browse Engagement Photos or Tattooed Brides & Grooms